Who am I?
My name is Elizabeth. I’m from North Carolina and I can’t stand people who fake Southern accents (Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama I’m LOOKING AT YOU). I adore stationery, typography, writing and science’s greatest invention: The Television. I hate pickles, olives, game shows and people who think Facebook is better than sex. It isn’t.
Right now I’m working in education, but before that I was: a bank teller, a camp counselor, a newspaper reporter, a waitress, a dishwasher, a retail clerk and a tour guide. I am thisclose to finishing my master’s degree in English. I have briefly considered a foray into the Ph.D. world, but…nah. Not today.
My children are of the feline variety. I don’t have any real babies, mostly because I’m cheap, selfish and impatient. I admire my friends that do have children, but secretly think they’re crazy behind their backs. I’ve been married for 5 years and if it’s taught me anything, it’s that separate closets and televisions are the keys to happiness.
I talk to my mother an average of 4 times a day. I check email as if it were my lifeline to the world. I miss smoking cigarettes every day of my life. I write incessantly to quell the mindless chatter in my head. I have an aversion to hand sanitizer and I think that lime tortilla chips are one of God’s greatest gifts.
Finally, I am one of millions of people that struggle every day with panic and anxiety. If you’re reading, you should be warned that a) I like to talk about that a LOT, b) I use caps a LOT (try it sometime, it’s kind of fun) and c) I use foul language to relay stories about people I know.
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1.
kibby | July 16, 2008 at 8:46 am
so i still think you are funny and you should be a columnist at a newspaper. but i read your Fanny May is broke rant, and this is my 2 cents (no pun untented) Buy the book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” by Robert T. Kiyosaki. I will also email you (if you want) a section from another book I am reading. I agree with you Dad and your hands should have been shaking girl! But it takes real discipline and a cold wake up call.
There is also another book that I want to read, you being the reader girl may have heard of it, “When Organizing Isn’t Enough: SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life ” by Julie Morgenstern
Let me know what you want it do, nothing, you got it covered, or need an idea….and I will email you some stuff. Or nothing…
Too bad we are not close enough we could have a glass of wine together! Miss you!
Kibs
2.
stevelowton | September 16, 2008 at 7:06 am
Ha. I love your site. Very little in laugh makes me laugh out loud {though over time as I learn to relax and let my cheeks go – more and more does.
I have just given up 23 years of corporate life in the uk. rather presciently in appears if you watch the news. The reason why i left was that I decided to ‘find myself’. i do remember having me when I was about 17 but must have left me somewhere. I am 45 now, ‘guest’ writing on a friends website for an awesome company he is setting up. I post most days – if you care to read about this joruney i have set off on. funny though I haven’t even made it up the street yet.
take care and keep writing.
Tim Ocsko {logged as Stev Lowton – its complicated}.
Stories from the Street.
3.
hurdlechamp | September 16, 2008 at 10:14 am
I like your blog. Nice free flowing and coherent expression. I may visit again.
4.
Lindsey | April 22, 2009 at 1:18 pm
ummm…so, yeah…did you learn nothing? it’s a WOMEN’S COLLEGE, not a girl’s school! xxxooo
5.
sian | August 29, 2009 at 8:09 pm
that is too funny…I think about smokes everyday too…even dream of them….who says that I would be glad I quit?? oh did I mention I still have the 15lbs I gained from quitting??!!
6.
o'malley | September 23, 2009 at 7:33 pm
You are my hero! I love your wit and can hear you talking to me as though we were having glass of wine on the porch (in comfy chairs), laughing, your animated, big brown eyes lthat speak volumes not to mention the way you raise your eyebrows that almost roll off the top of your head!!! You are one of the funniest girls I now and apparently, I’m not the only to think that! You go girl!!
Every day is a good day!!!