Big Rigs & Air Conditioners

8:38 am, BB: WTF? How did we sleep in until 8:30? This is nuts!

9:15 am, Me: Yes, I know he set up his tuition through the payment plan but apparently THE PAYMENT PLAN DIDN’T PAY. So do we owe back tuition or not? Oh. No m’am, we’ll pay it right away. It’s not necessary to report us to THE STATE ATTORNEY GENERAL for collections. Honestly. I have to go now, there’s a murder that needs committing right fast.

10:27 am, Drew: Hey, so I almost ran over a kitten on the bypass this morning. I went back and picked him up but he was right on the white line in between the two lanes and these two tractor trailers came by at the same time and they seriously missed him on both sides. Like for real. Can you and Mom take him to the vet at 12:40?

11:08 am, BB: You’re gonna run errands? Is it because you’re mad at me? I know you’re mad at me. I can’t help it. I didn’t KNOW I didn’t pay my tuition! I swear!

12:30 pm, Mom: Don’t let that cat get pink eye on you. And make sure it doesn’t shit on my backseat.

1:05 pm, Vet Tech: Well, he’s negative for FIV and feline leukemia. And we’re calling him Big Rig back there, because of how he was saved.

2:12 pm, Me: BB, why is it so hot in here? WTF…WHY IS THE THERMOSTAT ON 78?

2:53 pm, Me: Mr. Fred, please call us back ASAP. This thing is still under warranty and IT SHOULD BE FUCKING COOL OFF THIS FUCKING HOT HOUSE. Sorry about that…it’s been kind of a long day. And it’s not even three o’clock.