I don’t really enjoy orange juice. There - I said it. I feel like that makes me a traitor to breakfast in general, which is my all-time favorite meal of the day and without which I would perish, but it’s the truth. In reality, my walk into the wild world of alternative breakfast beverages began in 2001, when I discovered I was hypoglycemic. Orange juice, if you recall, is what Olympia Dukakis and Sally Field gave Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias when her blood sugar dropped too low while she was getting her hair done for her wedding. Orange juice equals pure sugar in my book, which equals havoc on my insulin levels, which then makes me not enjoy it.
Granted, there are plenty of other things full of sugar that can send my blood sugar on a roller coaster ride. But I like to pretend that orange juice is the big bad head-honcho meanie out of all of those. It helps me justify drinking some sort of Coke in the morning (for beginners, “Coke” is actually Southern code for any type of soda - Pepsi, Coke or otherwise). In my smoking days, my breakfast consisted of a Pop Tart, a real Coke, and a cigarette. Those were the days, man. Then I switched over to cereal and Diet Coke, though not together, because that would be gross.
And then I discovered the all-time holy grail of breakfast beverages: a Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi. Oh, the love I have for that cool, blue can. Just the one per day, usually, because any more than that would signify an addiction to caffeine. But like anything in life, the same thing every day can get monotonous. So, with the help of my Pepsi-selling husband, I ventured out in the world of diet drinks to have at breakfast. And I found Diet Mt. Dew, which is pretty good, Diet Squirt, which is awesome because it’s caffeine-free but bubbly, which totally fools me - and Diet Sunkist. I really think I’ve found a winner! It’s orange, it tastes like orange (which is a completely acceptable breakfast flavor), it has some caffeine, which makes me happy, and it’s a Pepsi product.
What’s not to love? In the grand scheme of things, perhaps a Diet Sunkist should be replaced by water. But in the morning, the early early morning, I crave that bubbly orange goodness…that crack of the can opening…that first sip that is cold and delicious…and I’m so glad orange juice got the boot.
