You make me crazy when…

I tell you to wake me up from my nap in an hour, and you let me sleep two. Don’t you know that I have things to do? Can’t you hear the internal struggle going on in my head? Read Omeros…no, wait…write about Beka Lamb…read Omeros…no, wait…fold laundry…

Sunday doldrums

Last week Carrol and I were talking about our Sundays, and why we feel the way we do about them. In Carrol’s world, Sundays are big breakfasts, naps, milkshakes, more naps, movies and pizza. In my world, Sundays are seeing whose wedding announcement made the N&O (and who forgot to invite me), doing a minimum of 8 loads of laundry, cleaning the kitchen and straightening the house, coming up with a grocery list and meals for the week, and squeezing some schoolwork in there somewhere. My Sundays suck.

Today’s no different. I’m on the second load of laundry, I’ve already cleaned cat puke off my brand new patio cushions that I bought YESTERDAY, I’ve unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, I’ve taken out two bags of trash, I’ve called Brian and my mother, and I’m finally sitting down to do schoolwork. Except that, as you can see, I’m blogging instead.

Part of the doldrums I feel on Sundays come from not having Brian here. It’s lonely around the house, there’s no motivation to go to church because who wants to sit by themselves?, and since it’s summer, there’s nothing on TV and it’s too hot to work in the yard. Plus, who wants to do any of that alone? Not me.

It’s days like today that I miss my girlfriends. Sure, I miss Brian. But we’ve operated like this, on this schedule, since 2003, and I have no reason to believe it’s going to change anytime soon. But before Brian, my Sundays would have included my friends – brunch, movies, phone dates, my all-time favorite tv-on-the-phone with MB (no one could do it better), shopping. That’s the big secret no one tells you when you get married. Your friends will always be your friends, but something unspoken changes. Your single friends are leery to call on Sundays because they think it’s family time. Your married friends are busy with their families on Sundays. And your mom friends are too busy with kids to call ANY time. It can be a lonely business being a wife. It’s wonderful – but it’s a change you have to be conscious that you’re making.

I’ve been married for four years and have been with the same man for seven. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but I just wish someone had said to me, Hey – those girlfriends you have are your lifeline to happiness. Whatever you do, don’t let that go, because they are the ones that made you who you are. But no one did tell me that. I’ve kept up with a lot of them, but I’ve neglected a lot more of them, and it’s not entirely my fault. But for my friends out there who are reading, and for the ones who aren’t, here’s what I would say to you over french toast, Diet Cokes and cigarettes…

1. I can’t believe Jesse Helms died. Remember when you worked there and you let me visit the office? And remember when everyone we knew had an interview on the Hill and no one got the job?
2. My white pants don’t fit anymore and no one has the sense to tell me that I shouldn’t wear white pants EVER.
3. So-and-so is pregnant, and what wouldn’t you give for five minutes alone with that child in 20 years?
4. You would NOT believe what [insert family member here] said at the 4th of July picnic on Friday. I swear if we weren’t related…
5. I know I’ve seen it twice already, but I’ll still go with you to Sex and the City if you want me to. Just promise me we can split my bag of Twizzlers.
6. He WILL call you. And if he doesn’t, he was a rat bastard to begin with, and you should stop shopping for men in bars.

I love you all, my friends, and I’m crossing my fingers for you that your Sunday isn’t lonely or boring, but filled with funny stories and ironic coincidences that we’ll discuss next week during our phone date.