Whee!

My carport-turned-patio looks so cute with its new wicker furniture! I found a clearance sale with a loveseat, two chairs, a rocker and a coffee table for under $200 and I just want to sing, it’s so pretty. If you know me, consider yourself openly invited to visit my lovely new outdoor space that just exudes loveliness. I don’t have a rug, or cushions, or a baker’s rack or a ceiling fan yet, but I will. And when I do, you will never see me again, for I will have taken up permanent residence out there.

Today included:

• Pulling off the road into a ditch by a cornfield to readjust some bungee cords
• Screaming my dad’s deaf dog’s name so loud my own cats heard it 10 blocks away
• Realizing that I’d rather move 3000 miles away from my family than deal with this heat another summer
• Opening my mailbox and finding a package from Fox addressed to ME with scripts and DVDs inside – I love my life
• Wishing that I would get food poisoning again just so I wouldn’t have to go to that horrid 4th of July picnic tomorrow AT NOON
• Making waffles and remembering how much I love them
• Forgetting about how much I love to watch Wimbledon and remembering that I haven’t seen it at all this year

Happy America Day, America. Here’s to not blowing yourselves up with fireworks that should never be sold to the public.

I wish I would get smart

Oh what a day it was. In no particular order, I…

• Couldn’t contain my shock at my mother’s new hair color
• Tried, in vain, to hold a conversation with my MIL, who can’t stop talking even though you’re talking too
• Acted interested in my nieces’ fascination with someone named Kit Kittredge
• Ate my weight in chicken tortillas and corn cakes
• Spent $100 on stuff from Sephora (how does this happen?)
• Received, then promptly gave away, a perfectly brand-new Cuisinart blender/food processor combo
• Silently cursed Pepsi for causing Brian to drive an average of 10 mph under the speed limit
• Realized I have an odd attraction to Steve Carrell, and possibly Anne Hathaway (it’s THOSE LIPS)